One Question

Last week I began reading Francine River‘s Sons of Encouragement, I’m currently on the story of Aaron. The more I read, the more irritated I get. I mean COME ON!!

That reaction is to the attitude of the Israelites. Even with physical evidence, they didn’t trust God. Their trust was totally dependent on their needs being met. As soon as their puny little minds believed that God was holding back on them, all hell would break loose. They actually wanted to go back to captivity.

Scrap the fact that he had proved himself by showing them all those signs and wonders back in Egypt. Heck, the Red Sea parting… erase that! The Manna & Quail…pssh! They wanted water and they wanted water NOW!!

Yet, even as my face betrayed my disgust for the attitude they portrayed, I was reminded of the millions of times, I too had demanded water. ‘Did you bring me to this point to kill me??’ I asked as I raised my fist at God.

You see, I believe in what I see, touch and feel. The physical. This supernatural mumbo jumbo just doesn’t cut it. However, when I look over the past year, the Physical has disappointed me at almost every turn. Every time, I put my trust in what I saw, disaster befell me, literally.

Which begs the question: Why do we trust some much in the tangible even though, it has disappointed us numerous times? God who on the other hand doesn’t change, is much harder to trust because we cannot see him and hardly ever hear him.

 

Wrong Worship

As much as this is funny, it is also truly sad!

 

Sense of Belonging

Belonging. This is actually a need. Even for those who feel superior to the issues of other mere mortals, you to have belonging bug in your system. You belong to the group that think they are superior.

I remember when visual fx was the in thing for me – I couldn’t wait to rub shoulders with professionals – I loved the glory associated with creating sleek moving graphics. Then there was the writing phase, first in P5; when i wrote my first romance novel (surprisingly i wasn’t in love or crushing on anyone at the time), this plot was abandoned in P6, but it cropped back up in S.2 and later in S.4 vacation. The S.2 novel was really my expression of power, lol, I’d listen to my friends reaction to the book and then kill or maim the person they loved, dramatically changing the story – no, my childhood wasn’t disturbed. You see, my class had these two amazing girls from Kitante, who also wrote – but their stories were a lot more superior to mine. The S4 Vacation book was little more powerful for me, it was a story that had grown in me for a little while, by the time I got to write it, I loved it from the start – then I lent it to my friend, tehehehe, and she misplaced it.

Anyway, fast forwarding along the line, there came blogging, I was first on blogger, but it was a lonely time – I got only one post up 🙂 and I had no idea that a Blogren existed. Then, I was introduced to wordpress and the UG Blogren, soon after that, we met and fell in love with Twitter. Needless to say, there always seems to something new coming up.

I guess what really matters is the why behind what we are doing. I remember my exercise craze from a few months ago – you should have known what motive was – I guess, when you catch the reason/motive behind; what you are doing, who you are dying to hang with, who you want to hire – you will have a fairly good idea why something is going the way it is.

What’s your reason?

 

Who You Are… Who Are You…

god(gäd)

Noun:

1. (in Christianity and other monotheistic religions) The creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being
2. (in certain other religions) A superhuman being or spirit worshiped as having power over nature or human fortunes; a deity
3. An image, idol, animal, or other object worshiped as divine or symbolizing a god
4. Used as a conventional personification of fate
5. An adored, admired, or influential person
6. A thing accorded the supreme importance appropriate to a god
7. The gallery in a theater
8. The people sitting in this area

It is so hard for me to wrap my little brain around an almighty powerful God. This past week I have actually found myself trying to do and failing. A King who is jealous for me, A Father who’s love for me is all consuming, A Friend who gets me – knows what I’m thinking before I ever utter a word.

How on earth is this even possible? I cannot see a King concerning himself with me, what I am going through. A Father who loves me regardless of what I do or have done, one who sings over me?! What is that about? A Friend who gets me, just for just – Har!

You see, I have been taught otherwise, by the movies I have watched, the books I have read and the people I have interacted with, such things are unheard of. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have let me go through this suffering, if you were all knowing, why didn’t you warn me?

The Bible calls you: Supreme Being. King of Kings. Father. Creator. Hater. Ruler. Cause of Wars, Disease & Famine. Corrupt. Abba. Love. Lover. Intimate Friend. Almighty. Powerful. Comforter. Faithful. Just.

But what does the Bible know?

There was no AIDS or suicide Bombers in that day. God seemed to speak a lot during that time, today… the only time I have audibly heard from you, it has cost me a price. I heard that you created me unique, then why did you place me near those that constantly make me ‘feel’ un-unique

Bible tells us who you are, but I need to know, who are you??

Can I even define you? Do I even know how to start defining you? How can I trust you, if my definition of trust is nowhere near yours? Rumour has is it, you defend me – but once again, I cannot see any evidence of this. You see, I believe what I see.

How do I know You?

 

Until We Are Broken, Our Lives Will Be Self-Centered

True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know-are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clich?s; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I’ve been talking about. As Frederick Buechner says,

To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do-to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst-is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed. (The Sacred Journey)

Only when we enter our wound will we discover our true glory. As Robert Bly says, “Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be.” There are two reasons for this. First, the wound was given in the place of your true strength, as an effort to take you out. Until you go there you are still posing, offering something more shallow and insubstantial. And therefore, second, it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. Those gifts we’ve been using are often quite true about us, but we’ve used them to hide behind. We thought that the power of our life was in the golden bat, but the power is in us. When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves, that is when we become powerful.

(Wild at Heart , 137-38)

Published, 30th Aug, Ransomed Heart // Daily Reading

 

Denial

Denial is a favorite method of coping for many Christians. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.

The lessons that have been laid down in pain can be accessed only in pain. Christ must open the wound, not just bandage it over. Sometimes he’ll take us there by having an event repeat itself years later, only with new characters in the current situation. We find ourselves overlooked for a job, just as we were overlooked by our parents. Or we experience fear again, just as we felt those lonely nights in our room upstairs.

These are all invitations to go with him into the deep waters of the heart, uncover the lies buried down there, and bring in the truth that will set us free. Don’t just bury it quickly; ask God what he is wanting to speak to.

Published, 25th Aug, Ransomed Heart // Daily Reading