See you on the flip side.
That reaction is to the attitude of the Israelites. Even with physical evidence, they didn’t trust God. Their trust was totally dependent on their needs being met. As soon as their puny little minds believed that God was holding back on them, all hell would break loose. They actually wanted to go back to captivity.
Scrap the fact that he had proved himself by showing them all those signs and wonders back in Egypt. Heck, the Red Sea parting… erase that! The Manna & Quail…pssh! They wanted water and they wanted water NOW!!
Yet, even as my face betrayed my disgust for the attitude they portrayed, I was reminded of the millions of times, I too had demanded water. ‘Did you bring me to this point to kill me??’ I asked as I raised my fist at God.
You see, I believe in what I see, touch and feel. The physical. This supernatural mumbo jumbo just doesn’t cut it. However, when I look over the past year, the Physical has disappointed me at almost every turn. Every time, I put my trust in what I saw, disaster befell me, literally.
Which begs the question: Why do we trust some much in the tangible even though, it has disappointed us numerous times? God who on the other hand doesn’t change, is much harder to trust because we cannot see him and hardly ever hear him.
The weekend is here, woo-hoo!!!
Bring on the fun!
Introducing two Newbies:
1. Chosen Berries (My good friend CB, please show her some love)
Three weeks back I felt my entire life was in turmoil. I was in a place in life where it felt like every cell within me was screaming Lord, where do I belong? where are you? Where am I heading? I took my lunch break off to stare through the window from the 9th floor of my office building.
2. Stories From A Page (This is my second blog, just testing the writing waters)
as soon as i figure it out, you will be among the first to know
Also, MOB love to the Blogren Twitter family; Nev, Brentaka, Darlkomu, Solomonking, Katawonga, Normzo, Jny23ug, helleNyana, cmugume, LBMugema, ugandangirl2, Mumakeith, AfroElle, jmakumbi, Payyoo, SleekandWild, rhinorck, zsamm, charli_kemi, bazanye and you
So far, this year has all but chewed me up and spat me out, ground the remains, then sent them through the shredder before the incinerator was called upon.
You see, am supposed to be planning, preparing and blah blah – Yeah, that’s right, I currently sipping a tall glass of lemonade. This was all until Monday morning happened to me ;). I’ve been going around, writing bitter tasting posts, singing the song; if they knew my story, boo-hoo me, everybody hates me, why me – talk about doing badly, indeed.
Well, Monday morning, i noticed something (blame it on the curse of seeing the little details), and suddenly, I was filled with a sense of calm. No, I am don’t think I should call it the peace of God, for you see, this particular thing should have set me on edge, but it didn’t.
I have been unconsciously choosing to hold on to it, my past uncertainty, my past doubt, my past choices – rethinking, reanalysing each step of the way – Yup, extremely unhealthy I know! Then i remembered a devotional that i read much earlier in the year…
It talked about why God chose to take the Israelites through the wilderness, because, you see there was a shorter more direct route available. The focus wasn’t the destination but it was the journey to the destination. Like me, their focus was on the ‘get-me-to-the-promise’, man I cannot wait – yet God’s focus was, I desire for you to know me, for you to trust me, let’s take this route instead, I am longing to show you who I say I am. Trust me.
And that is exactly what I did, let it go, and keep walking.
Haha, no, everything isn’t magically okay now, and no, certain individuals still treat me different, but that is when I remember, we are all human, and it is in our human weakness that God is made known. You know, the glow that shines on you when you feel like crap.
Yes, so this letting-go-thing is quite liberating. Last evening, like most Kampalans, I rushed out of office to avoid the rain and traffic. I got to my stage in record time, 15mins, and then there were no taxis, when one comes along 30 minutes later, we were literally pushing and shoving our way in. Then we got held up in traffics for close to an hour. The skies opened, and down came the rain in millions of angry sheets. My immediate thought was, Lord, what is your problem?? Can’t you see I am trying here??? and then it occured to me, I have never walked/danced/sang in the rain before. No, I am not kidding! So when the taxi made the miraculous ascent up the steep slippery gullied-hill (bytheway, thank you for that Lord.), and stopped at my stage, I jumped out, opened my run-down-broken excuse of an umbrella and shielded my hair.
That was when I saw it. The huge road-gullies were filled with water rushing about angrily, with the rain still pouring I made my way toward it timidly. I began calculating the probability of my shoe being taken away by the current, what were the odds I will fall, I wondered. Adjacent to me, a little pub open for business, in front of the pub, the locals already warming themselves with a little something, sat staring at me. I was their evening’s entertainment, I’ll wager a few placed bets.
As I walked up and down the gulley in the pouring rain, I finally said to hell with it. I inched as close as I could get with out falling, drew a deep breath, then jumped. Yes, my eyes were shut at that moment. You have no idea how liberated I felt at that moment. As I walked up the hill, a conqueror returning from a conquest, I thought hit me – ‘while you are here, you might as well take pictures of this feat’. Yup, and wouldn’t you know it, I fulled out the little camera, and began snapping away – yes, it was still pouring pretty hard.
Awww man, I loved it! True, my shoes may never recover, my hair is… well… as it is, but I loved it!
Even know as the rain has just started falling again, I’m smiling to myself, because I have a secret…
You no longer have a hold on me.
Belonging. This is actually a need. Even for those who feel superior to the issues of other mere mortals, you to have belonging bug in your system. You belong to the group that think they are superior.
I remember when visual fx was the in thing for me – I couldn’t wait to rub shoulders with professionals – I loved the glory associated with creating sleek moving graphics. Then there was the writing phase, first in P5; when i wrote my first romance novel (surprisingly i wasn’t in love or crushing on anyone at the time), this plot was abandoned in P6, but it cropped back up in S.2 and later in S.4 vacation. The S.2 novel was really my expression of power, lol, I’d listen to my friends reaction to the book and then kill or maim the person they loved, dramatically changing the story – no, my childhood wasn’t disturbed. You see, my class had these two amazing girls from Kitante, who also wrote – but their stories were a lot more superior to mine. The S4 Vacation book was little more powerful for me, it was a story that had grown in me for a little while, by the time I got to write it, I loved it from the start – then I lent it to my friend, tehehehe, and she misplaced it.
Anyway, fast forwarding along the line, there came blogging, I was first on blogger, but it was a lonely time – I got only one post up 🙂 and I had no idea that a Blogren existed. Then, I was introduced to wordpress and the UG Blogren, soon after that, we met and fell in love with Twitter. Needless to say, there always seems to something new coming up.
I guess what really matters is the why behind what we are doing. I remember my exercise craze from a few months ago – you should have known what motive was – I guess, when you catch the reason/motive behind; what you are doing, who you are dying to hang with, who you want to hire – you will have a fairly good idea why something is going the way it is.
What’s your reason?