See you on the flip side.
So far, this year has all but chewed me up and spat me out, ground the remains, then sent them through the shredder before the incinerator was called upon.
You see, am supposed to be planning, preparing and blah blah – Yeah, that’s right, I currently sipping a tall glass of lemonade. This was all until Monday morning happened to me ;). I’ve been going around, writing bitter tasting posts, singing the song; if they knew my story, boo-hoo me, everybody hates me, why me – talk about doing badly, indeed.
Well, Monday morning, i noticed something (blame it on the curse of seeing the little details), and suddenly, I was filled with a sense of calm. No, I am don’t think I should call it the peace of God, for you see, this particular thing should have set me on edge, but it didn’t.
I have been unconsciously choosing to hold on to it, my past uncertainty, my past doubt, my past choices – rethinking, reanalysing each step of the way – Yup, extremely unhealthy I know! Then i remembered a devotional that i read much earlier in the year…
It talked about why God chose to take the Israelites through the wilderness, because, you see there was a shorter more direct route available. The focus wasn’t the destination but it was the journey to the destination. Like me, their focus was on the ‘get-me-to-the-promise’, man I cannot wait – yet God’s focus was, I desire for you to know me, for you to trust me, let’s take this route instead, I am longing to show you who I say I am. Trust me.
And that is exactly what I did, let it go, and keep walking.
Haha, no, everything isn’t magically okay now, and no, certain individuals still treat me different, but that is when I remember, we are all human, and it is in our human weakness that God is made known. You know, the glow that shines on you when you feel like crap.
Yes, so this letting-go-thing is quite liberating. Last evening, like most Kampalans, I rushed out of office to avoid the rain and traffic. I got to my stage in record time, 15mins, and then there were no taxis, when one comes along 30 minutes later, we were literally pushing and shoving our way in. Then we got held up in traffics for close to an hour. The skies opened, and down came the rain in millions of angry sheets. My immediate thought was, Lord, what is your problem?? Can’t you see I am trying here??? and then it occured to me, I have never walked/danced/sang in the rain before. No, I am not kidding! So when the taxi made the miraculous ascent up the steep slippery gullied-hill (bytheway, thank you for that Lord.), and stopped at my stage, I jumped out, opened my run-down-broken excuse of an umbrella and shielded my hair.
That was when I saw it. The huge road-gullies were filled with water rushing about angrily, with the rain still pouring I made my way toward it timidly. I began calculating the probability of my shoe being taken away by the current, what were the odds I will fall, I wondered. Adjacent to me, a little pub open for business, in front of the pub, the locals already warming themselves with a little something, sat staring at me. I was their evening’s entertainment, I’ll wager a few placed bets.
As I walked up and down the gulley in the pouring rain, I finally said to hell with it. I inched as close as I could get with out falling, drew a deep breath, then jumped. Yes, my eyes were shut at that moment. You have no idea how liberated I felt at that moment. As I walked up the hill, a conqueror returning from a conquest, I thought hit me – ‘while you are here, you might as well take pictures of this feat’. Yup, and wouldn’t you know it, I fulled out the little camera, and began snapping away – yes, it was still pouring pretty hard.
Awww man, I loved it! True, my shoes may never recover, my hair is… well… as it is, but I loved it!
Even know as the rain has just started falling again, I’m smiling to myself, because I have a secret…
You no longer have a hold on me.
i am trp, known to some as the rising page, and to others as Devyn Princess.
i love babies and i have recently fallen in love with being pregnant. i cannot get over what it would feel like to have a baby grow inside of you, poke you, wake you up at midnight. i overwhelmed with sadness when i see mothers struggling with children in public transport, worse still fathers carry their little ones in the pouring rain making their way home.
i love great design, and in fact this afternoon i shall be going over to the craft market to buy a medallion i saw – well may be i’ll buy two instead. when i was 7 years young, i fell in love with computers, told my dad that i would work with them when i became older – alas, that is exactly what i am doing. in as much as i love design as a whole, website design always intrigues me more. i was introduced to adobe flash by these talented people, you can call me a flash junkie – i love any excuse to use it. actual website development without using flash has been a playing field for me over the past 12 months – teaching myself, stumbling along the way, getting frustrated and fighting with my computer during the long nights but I love it all the same.
i greatly admire people who are living out their dreams, i totally love people who act on the call of God on their lives. i love people who are a part of something, something bigger than themselves. i love people who push themselves and are constantly redefining their limit. i’m constantly in my itunes listening to inspiration from everywhere – music, podcasts, audio books. some of the people that love and absolutely adore are charity water, addmaya, design kingdom, oasis la church, hillsong london, catalyst leadership, newspring church, celebration church… to mention but a few. recently, i visited the charity water site and I noticed that their logo is actually in lowercase with a full stop. (yes like that one). So this entire post is dedicated to charity water and all her initiatives…
i believe i have been called cheeky, not really sure what this means. my heart has been broken several times to the point i’m not sure there is much left. i still believe in old skool love – the brown sugar kind – all consuming & immersive kind and as i wait, i shall be working me out – preparing me for the experience of a lifetime, yes – i am also a hopeful romantic.
i love writing; to be able to create something, imagine it and accurately express it to someone else; oooohh! may be i just like creating. i make funny faces everytime i am infront of a mirror, i like a diverse range of music – mix and mash everything together.
sometimes when i’m walking down a road and you see me smile for no apparent reason, know that i’m having a chat with my abba and he is just doing his thing. i love him and the love he has for me, i cannot even begin to explain.
i cry in the rain and on the bathroom floor, i love javas fries and icecream sundae (the one that comes with brownies). i love my friends completely and totally and would do anything for them.
i am a true melancholic.
i realise i have gone overboard, but this was started by the fabulous Angela Kintu over at hers. so please join us on this self discovery path of who we are, seeing as i am good at following instructions i shall let you know the upside of this…
on a separate line of awesomeness. If you do this for me, it will be the equivalent of signing my bra.
Now, all of you, if you do not do this in like the next 235 minutes, you will have four years of fleas and a kitten somewhere will die from being sat on by a Transformer.
(Qoute has been edited to suit the current blogger 🙂 )