Boogers, Fingernails and Neil.

27 Nov

Those little things that we do when no one is watching always catch up with us. 

Once upon a time i had this experience, that I just have to share.

My home just happens to be near the stage, so as soon as i leave the gate I get a taxi (Most of the times).

So on this bright sunny afternoon, i find one waiting for me. I smiled to the heavens saying, the Lord sure does love me. On my way to the taxi door, I happen to see a man in the bush below the road, I averted my eyes to the other direction, (the courteous thing to do) and hoped in. As luck would have it, I got a window seat, guess which direction the window was facing. Yup, thats right! It was directly opposite the guy, doing his thing. A few seconds later, I watch him saunter toward us jump into the taxi and close the door. Yes, thats right, ‘Mr. am marking my territory’ was none other than the taxi conductor. Oh, the scenarios that run through my head…In that instance i grabbed my purse and started looking for the exact fare. No way i was getting change from that guy. From that day i on, i try to have the exact taxi fare.

Another instance, when the guy sitting next you decides, ‘Man I own this taxi, am gon sit how I want’. Then the Son of Adam proceeds at slouch and spread his legs without a care! Then he looks at you with a gleam in his eye, daring you to do something about it.

How about the dude who sits near the window and keeps launching rockets to the moon. This Neil Armstrong wanna be apparently insists on keeping the window shut as he releases his bacteria into the taxi.

Or the guy who reaches for his wallet that happens to be on your hip. I mean come on!!! You know, he keeps looking for it, before long his elbow has missed your breast by half an inch. In your mind you’re going ‘LOOORRD if i had a gun, this perv would be dead!!’

I’m not sure if it would be safe to say this is Ugandan culture, so i’ll let you decide. You ever walked into an office and the person talking to you has a finger in his/her ear, then a vigorous up and down motion follows. Or instead of their finger they use the new pen cover of the pen you just lent them. After he looks at the content and removes it with his fingers. He rubs them together and then continues the conversation.

Or The Booger Killer. After he has got it in his fingernail he uses his other fingernail to flick it away. All you do is pray he doesn’t flick it your way.

Or to the intellectual ones. The ones who wear glasses. There is just this funny feeling that you have something in your eye and your tissue/hankie is miles away. So what the heck, you uses there device nearest to you: your finger rub it between your fingers and its done. (Sigh, may be its Ugandan Culture after all)

Or to the Ladies with the 4-Month old braids: You know, those really itchy ones. So there you were, giving yourself the much needed relief. In your bliss, your fingernails are picking it all up. The 4 months of sun, dust, oil growth products, rain are all mixed up on your scalp. Then as she looks out the taxi window, she folds up her money so she can have a sharp corner, and starts to clean her finger nails.

Makes one feel ‘icky’ all over doesn’t it? 

Well that isn’t even the half of it. I’ve been told long long long ago, back when culture was such a huge thing, if some one spat at you it was an offense. Today, if you walk the streets of Kampala and don’t come across spittle, count yourself really blessed. Anyway, some may choose spittle any day compared to happening upon mucus. It’s amazing how creative people can be. Guy just stands by the side of the road and the next thing makes you miss lunch.

What have we come to?!

I’ll let you decide.


Posted by on November 27, 2008 in Life


8 responses to “Boogers, Fingernails and Neil.

  1. The Emrys

    November 27, 2008 at 11:21 am

    i got these pink socks?

  2. The Emrys

    November 27, 2008 at 11:22 am

    emi these pink ones i hand over to you

  3. Tamzel

    November 27, 2008 at 11:47 am

    True, true.

  4. lulu

    November 27, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    haha, have you done some of these things…hehehe, but the taxi things ive experienced like all of them…mama! then the hair thing…(smal voice) guilty!

  5. Emi's

    November 28, 2008 at 1:01 am

    eeeeeoooowwwww. That taxi thing almost made me stop reading but then I remembered having to sit near some conductor who’d not seen water for a while and his teeth had missed a brush. I got off before destination

  6. The Rising Page

    November 28, 2008 at 3:55 am

    @lulu: tho isn’t allowed to ask the author that question.

    @Emi: You poor poor fella

    @Tamz&Emrys: Which would you deem the most horrible?

  7. serakelz

    July 3, 2009 at 9:24 am

    LOL at the old braids!

  8. therisingpage

    July 6, 2009 at 5:46 am

    @ Serakelz: lol!


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